Not today

Its been a while now, Its complicated, yes my life is complicated. But it's okay, everything happens for a reason. Sigh, I'm barely breathing. I'm not sure whether I'm going to regret or I'm going to be happy for myself. I'm afraid to face one of my friend's words, it might came true, please don't let it happen, Ya Allah.

I hate it when I lose one of my bestfriend but it's even worst to deny my love on someone I truly love. Ahh, do you even get that? Sigh, told you it's complicated!

Please, no, I won't argue with my bestfriend eventhough we don't talk anymore. I mean, I don't know if you're telling me the right thing to do and I don't know as if my heart is telling me the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt you but again, I cant deny what I feel. This is what I feel, you would do the same if you're in my shoes. Don't tell me you're not going to do the same because no, you're not me and you'll never be me.

Sometimes, people change, you need to know that. I won't demand or give you orders, I just want you to know that no matter how hard my life is, I will always find my way out. I don't need your help. Sigh, I helped you through alot of bullshits and this is what you give, a horrible pay-back. You suppose to be happy for me but you don't.

I might regret, my feelings will change, but not today.